Index

In this section you can explore some things about how people in Florida use ordinary words and some of the special words and phases they use. Chris researched several sources to develop this short list. Chris is not from Forida, but he is from West Virginia. Chris has lived in Florida since 1992; before that he spent much of the time from 1972 to 1992 consulting in Florida on real estate matters.

He hopes this section will both amuse you and assist you to learn about some of the words around here. There is no particular rhyme or reason to this list. Chris used his own knowledge plus the results of some university survey research. It would be greatly appreciated if you email me any additions.

bumpkin = an awkward, simple and rustic person who means no harm but none the less they are a clod, hillbilly, hayseed, hick, or yahoo.

catty-corner = something across both streets from you at an intersection (or diagonally across from you in general).

collards = The leaves of kale used as a vegetable. also called collard greens.

cornpone = cornmeal bread made without milk or eggs, usually shaped into a flat cake, and baked or fried on a griddle.

cracker = A Floridian cow hunter who uses whips and dogs to control a cow's movements in thick scrub. The whips' sharp cracks accounts for the word.

daddy long legs = spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs.

day late and a dollar short = too little and too late. Florida's efforts to do something about rising home insurance cost in 2004 were a day late and a dollar short, and rates are higher than ever.

dock doesn't quite reach the water = sort of gets the point, but not very well.

doesn't have a fart's prayer in a hurricane = ill-fated and extemely unlikely to ever, ever happen.

dumber than a bag of hammers = tediously stupid and dull to the point of being annoying or irritating. Chris meets many persons in real estate that seem to be dumber than a bag of hammers.

dutch oven = large, heavy pot or kettle, usually of cast iron, with a tight lid, used forslow cooking.

Flora-Bama = the area around the Florida-Alabama state line where Interstate 10 is the major highway.

Florida Is full - build a house in Georgia = the Motto of Gergia home builders.

Florida Is full - go home = a bumper sticker often seen in Florida. Chris notices how quickly people adopt this attitude after they move here.

georgia peach = A very attractive girl who is appealing to all the guys. Has the charm and characteristics of a southern girl.

hush puppies = small, round cakes of cornmeal fried in deep fat. Name is from a practice of feeding them to dogs, which would keep them quiet as people ate.

hyacinth = bulbous, funnel-shaped plant, having narrow leaves and colored, fragrant, flowers. The hyacinth is fabled to have sprung from the blood of Hyacinthus, a beautiful Laconian youth who was accidentally slain by his love, Apollo.

in line = stand outside with a long line of people waiting to get in somewhere.

it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them? = A common sentiment among Floridians. Chris notices how quickly people adopt this attitude after they move here.

moot point = a point that is purely academic, or that cannot be settled and isn't worth discussing further.

moooooove, I'm trying to speed! = what young Florida drivers yell out the window when they pass senior Florida drivers.

my heart has been bypassed = person (often senior citizen) who had heart bypass

nervous as a long-tailed bobcat in a room full of rocking chairs = really, really, uneasy and fijity.

objects in mirror are dumber than they appear = what senior Florida drivers think about young Florida drivers.

NOTE from Chris - In Florida's great fires of 1998, the millions of cabbage palmsprovided palm oil to the fires allowing them to burn so hotly.

Paradise = Florida in general, but around here SW Florida since it is a place of extreme beauty, delight, or happiness.

passion vine = tropical vines bearing edible fruit, also called passionflower vine.

pokeweed = tall plant with small white flowers, drooping clusters of blackish-red berries, and a poisonous root, also called poke, pokeberry, or pokeroot.

pound party = open house to which everyone brings a pound of food, such as sugar, flour, fresh fruits or vegetables, or canned goods.

roundabout = traffic situation in which several roads meet in a circle and you have to get off at a certain point.

red neck = rural working class person, sometims narrow minded or prejudiced, who may not be very educated or wordly in their ways. click for red neck job form

redneck caviar = a mixture of black beans, onions, peppers and seasonings, served on crackers.

redneck riviera = the beautiful emerald Gulf coast beaches in the Florida Panhandle where many persons from southern rural Alabama, Georgia and northern rural Florida vacation since it is such a close drive. This is one of Chris and Deane's favorite vacation retreats. Since Chris is a West Virginia redneck at heart, he fits in well.

saltwater cowboy = people who moved to the vast open spaces of SW Florida (on the salty Gulf of Mexico) to live on small ranches and raise horses.

saltwater cowgirl = people who moved to the vast open spaces of SW Florida(on the salty Gulf of Mexico) to live on small ranches and raise horses.

scrub = A plant community dominated by woody shrubs and herbaceous perennials in small, scattered patches. Vegetation of inferior quality, thick and impenetrable, growing in poor soil or in sand.

seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it = the Florida senior citizen motto.

shopping cart = wheeled contraption that you carry groceries at the supermarket.

sleep = gooey or dry matter in corners of your eyes, especially while you are sleeping.

sneakers = rubber-soled shoes worn in gym class, for athletic activities, etc.

snicker doodle = sugar cookie with many possible variations such as pecans, cinnamin, and oatmeal.

teepeeing = act of covering a house or area in front of a house with toilet paper.

they are not dead, they are Electroencephalographically-Challenged = the unfortunate sentiment of many younger Floridians toward their elders.

varmint = wild animal considered undesirable or unprofitable, ranging from annoying, messy creatures, such as skunk or raccoon, to dangerous predators, such as the cougar or bear. Also an irritating or obnoxious person.

we're not old people, we're recycled teenagers = A seniment of many Florida seniors such as Chris

white bacon = layer of fat with streaks of lean, cut from pig's belly and sides, named because it must be blanched to extract excess salt before using.

0-60 in 15 minutes! = what impatient young Florida drivers think about Florida's senior citizen drivers.

Since Chris is a West Virginia hill billy, he includes this for some light hearted humor.

Florida Redneck Employment Application

Last name: ________________

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Education: 1 2 3 4

(Circle highest grade completed)

Occupation:

[_] Dirty Politician

[_] Farmer
[_] Hair Dresser

[_] Mechanic

[_] Unemployed
[_] Waitress

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Model of your pickup: _____________
Year pickup produced: 194____

Firearms you own and where you keep them:

____ truck
____ kitchen
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ shed

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:________

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown

[_] Yellow
[_] N/A

First name (check appropriate box):

[_] Billy-Bob

[_] Billy-Jack

[_] Billy-Joe

[_] Billy-Mae

[_] Billy-Ray

[_] Billy-Sue

[_] Bobby-Ann

[_] Bobby-Beth-Ann

[_] Bobby-Ellen

[_] Bobby-Jo

[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Bobby-Sue

Spouse's Name: __________
2nd Spouse's Name: _______
3rd Spouse's Name: _______
Lover's Name: ____________
2nd Lover's Name: _________

Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: ____________________

Father's Name: ____________________

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

[_] The National Enquirer
[_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide
[_] Soap World
[_] Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man

[_] Red-Seal

[_] Rooster

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know